The Lunch Lady and Havana's Secret Twin

I received a call yesterday from Havana's school. It was an automated message informing me that she had a negative $4.50 balance on her lunch account. Lunch account, what lunch account? My kids have not once in their life eaten hot lunch at school. With my suspicions raised I call the school to find out what was going on. I let them know that Havana has never eaten school lunch and that she wasn't even signed up to have an account. She has, on occasion forgot her sack but I have always brought it to her before lunch. After my explanation, all I could hear on the other end of the line was silent disgust. After the silence the Lunch Lady (Refer to picture. I am sure that is was she looked like. Only Utah Lunch Lady's are good lookin'.) in a patronizing tone let me know that sometimes kids don't get enough to eat in their sack lunch and so they go through the lunch line. Or sometimes their parents forget to send them with a lunch and their teacher will take them through the line.

OK, them's fightin' words, crazy Lunch Lady. First of all, have you ever even seen my sweet Havana? She couldn't eat two lunches if her life depended on it. I think her little stomach would explode. Second, how on earth would I FORGET to make a lunch for Havana, yet manage to make one for Avery. Lunch Lady rebutted with, well I don't know but she had lunch two times in October and she tried to go through today but we shut her down and sent her with a note to you about the balance due. Mom's rebuttal was, note...what note?

In the end Lunch Lady cleared our balance on our non-
existing account. Although I'm sure she thinks I'm crazy.

After talking to Havana, who staunchly denies ever going through the lunch line, we decided that she must have a secret twin that goes around impersonating her so as to eat the wonderful school lunch for free. Much like the one here with what I like to call carpet pizza, a strange food that is basically cardboard with cheese and sauce giving it the exact weight and feel of carpet, dust mites included.