"0h Chritmas Tree"

It's a tradition in my family that a day or two after Thanksgiving everybody heads down the street and around the corner from my Grandpa Bud's to a little run down house on the corner. Thanksgiving is officially over and Christmas begins. There, in front of us is a Christmas tree forest brought by a wrinkly faced man we call Blinky. He's a man that looks like he has some stories to tell. Every year he makes his way up Cedar Mountain to provide us with the choicest trees.

The last two years I have stayed in the Valley of the Sun for Thanksgiving and have had to rely on my family to pick the perfect one for me. The last word always goes to my Aunt Joyce, who knows exactly what I want.

1. Not to tall
2. Not to many branches
3. Plenty of room between boughs

I mean plenty of room. I want to see that trunk. It is, after all, an important part of the tree and I don't want it covered up by those showy needles. I've been told that my taste in Christmas trees is a little off. My friends call it a Charlie Brown tree and I take it as a compliment. (Thank you Joyce for picking out the tree that quite possibly could have only been loved by me. It's perfect.)

After the debate is over and you have found that one tree you knew in the pre-existence, you load it in your truck and head over to Blinky to settle up. Now, while a monetary exchange does take place it is neither the most important nor the most entertaining part of acquiring your perfect tree.


Enter the Chicken Dance. Words can not describe the laughter that comes from three Bauer Daughters and their mother watching a grown man (Blinky) strut around like a chicken. The chicken dance is usually followed by a song performed by......you guessed it, Blinky. Who, surprisingly sings like a bird.

Last but not least is the Window Dance. Every year Blinky picks a partner from the throng of Bauer descendants to perform this dance straight out of a Jane Austen novel I'm sure. Nine times out of ten that lucky girl is my mom.

Now, after all of that, who in their right mind would get their tree from the local super store when the little run down house on the corner has so much to offer?